I’ve been reading encouraging articles that help point to unearthing that passion nugget. Spring time seems to fuel my soul to unearth answers and plant seeds. What I’ve picked up thus far is a consistent message of looking at your childhood for revealing answers. This past week I’ve been reminiscing and facing some of the ghosts of my past as I struggled through Mother’s Day.
My grandmother was an amateur artist. She would write me letters in her spidery hand, accompanied by drawings of kittens playing or napping. Sometimes I would trace her pictures with one of those oversized pencils made for my grubby five year old hand; figure out how to colour between the lines. Am I secretly an undeveloped visual artist?
Leah Manderson concludes in her Tiny Buddha post:
Think back on your life, and remember things you wanted to be, the habits you developed naturally, the games you played, the books you read, and see how they may apply to your life and career today. You might be surprised by the connection points that have been right under your nose all along.
I recall afternoons of picturing characters and scenes from books, and subsequently changing the endings. Days of sitting on my brother’s bed, creating board games or shuttling into outerspace, using National Geographic picture books. Of course we packed space food (peanut butter sandwiches) and tricked out our space vehicle (a yellow skateboard). After all, we never knew what adventure lay before us. What if some alien turned out to be hungry? Needed a lift across the Martian terrain?
Is there a future for me at Random House as a book editor or at Hasboro creating board games?
As a little girl, I used to make up stories and scribble in notebooks full of z’s and v’s; in high school, I later switched to morose poetry written no longer in my childhood hieroglyphics, but standard English, mulling over rhythm and elusive meanings. At that point I dreamed of becoming a writer, writing poetry daily, and living my angst through prose. I was torn a bit since I sang choir all my high school years, but knew I could hide behind words and paper. I longed for the courage of becoming a strong singer and becoming the next Kiri Te Kanawa.
Subsequently, I fell into community theater by accident.
Today, I work and mostly make a living working in entertainment. So, I feel I’ve not strayed too far from my path. Yet, something is missing. What’s my new angle?
Now, this isn’t as easy as it sounds, but it’s well worth the effort. If you dread going to your job, or find yourself constantly lacking motivation, or find what you’re doing dull and repetitive, you need to start looking for a new job.
Staying in your current job will not only continue to make you unhappy, but you are not realizing your full potential in life.
My current job(s) don’t make me unhappy, but there is a sense of dullness. Through the help and encouragement of loved ones, I’ve been pushed into stepping out of my comfort zone and try something completely new. It turns out it is also a brand new career. Part time. For now.
I’m going to shake things up. Remind myself that this gives my passion room to breathe and show itself as it shimmies into the light. I’m shaking and shimmying my way into Bartending school.