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Isabel Alvear

Like a dead body anchored In the bottom of my belly Is where all the trauma of My Life Sits. It moves, bobbing silently Pulsating as my digestion Desperately attempts to Flush It Down. Shifting minutely Stifling my inability To lose the spare tire of Anxiety Around My belly. I can feel a new shifting The dead lump lifting up To my conscious surface I cough Outbursts Of anger And tears. The measure of vulnerability Coming up and out of me Is the cor

My dad was a study in anger. His mood could manipulate the people around him. That’s the power of charisma for good or evil. When at his most charming, people fell around him like dominos—his easy chatter, gregariousness, affability and generosity had him winning at almost every game. He maintained his Spanish accent that under social situations, was like standing under an umbrella of warming jasmine in the night: exotic, romantic, lingering and intriguing. All fuel for the n

Disappointment. Comes from assumed behaviors and expectations of another. Comes from customs and values inferred upon others without the benefit of the same upbringing. Maybe, little boy, you were raised without a father or a mother. Did you have siblings? A sister? A brother? Other family living near? Maybe, you little man, were raised to fight to win. Protector. Defender. Maybe, you little warrior, were raised that caring, kindness, nurturing or generosity will come eventua

My Artist’s Prayer Practice Open-heartedness It is “The Way” When you feel stuck– Feel the Fear And do it anyway. Practice meditation Let your mind rest Bring your soul forward Breathing is best. Trust your spirit Help it grow, Help it love, Help it sing, Notice all it brings. Surround yourself with Love, Peace and Joy For Happiness is All betwixt Alpha and Omega: Love breaks down walls Heals old wounds Reveals synchronicities; Uncovers creativities. –Namaste #spirituality #c

Image taken from voiceofthepersecuted.wordpress What is the “silent treatment”? For me, it was a powerful weapon my father used on my brother, my step-mother, myself and family members. A way to control or manipulate us whenever he disapproved of something we did that went against his wishes, against his correct way of living and thinking. It was to force us to face whatever horrible affrontery to his moral standards. Often times, the “silent treatment” was doled out without

What happens when the most disappointing and controlling man in your life has been your father? When your main male role model, as in your primary study on how men should treat women, is actually not the best example? What happens when you’ve realized a life full of abandonment during times of great need, during times of non-judgement, during times of unconditional love, there appears an emotional cost, a tit-for-tat mentality, that only a narcissist love could afford? Narcis